Highschool has become the time for dating. This is the time where students start discovering what and who they like when it comes to relationships. Although many standards and expectations have already been set for the “perfect” relationship and a majority of these end up being toxic and unhealthy but continue to be glorified and worshiped. 

We see these kinds of relationships online in movies or social media. People normalize these without seeing or realizing the long term effects they can leave on a person. It became a mentally abusive thing that gets overlooked. 

If the relationship really is that bad why not leave it? Might be a question everyone wonders when hearing about situations like these. It’s never just that easy though, people stuck in toxic situations are also stuck on feelings they have for their partner, an Enochs senior – who wished to stay anonymous, that we’ll call Mary had said, “I had thought I was so “in love” with him that I’d give him a million chances.” 

Manipulation, gaslighting, and guilt tripping are sides of relationships people don’t see. On big social platforms like TikTok, many people promote or have turned things like this into a joke. Ex. ‘gaslighting isn’t real.’

Gaslighting: psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to show self-doubt and confusion in their victims mind. According to newportinstitute.com.

It’s become romanticized. It’s become something people almost want. They want it without having to deal with the aftermath of it. Everyone has forgotten how unhealthy and abusive it actually is to be in relationships like this due to the glorification that has been brought upon it. “He was horrible to me and I don’t think I could ever ever forget about everything that he has put me through. He made me hate literally everything about myself and made me easily hate life.” Mary says. It’s a big mental barrier for people and has made it hard for them to enjoy life without feeling the weight of the relationship. 

Simple things in life become looked at differently. Views on relationships and even friendships are changed. Trust towards other people becomes broken and love for themselves disappears. Toxic relationships shouldn’t be normalized and shouldn’t be idolized.

More things are going on in the relationship than what is being shown. More is happening after it as well. Whether the effects are long term or short term, it’s still important to be considerate and sensitive when joking or wanting a “toxic” relationship.