Senioritis, a supposed affliction of students in their final year of high school or college, characterized by a decline in motivation or performance. 

I always thought it was a silly little thing. Senioritis. I didn’t believe any of the talk and truly didn’t understand what the worry was all about. That remained the case until the second semester of senior year hit.

Writing this column, for example, has taken every ounce of will-power in me. The amount of times I’ve sat here and stared at my computer thinking about doing anything else is baffling honestly. I procrastinated practically all week to at least start it and just recently gained a smidge of motivation to get it going. This is how I feel doing basically anything school related at this point. Any motivation or effort I used to put into assignments has depleted and basic tasks are more challenging than they typically are. 

I have no idea exactly how or when but suddenly I did not care about school at all and that was terrifying. Though I’m very close to being done, this last semester is still very important. If I don’t continue to handle my business I just may ruin my chances of graduating. This was just about the worst time for my brain to give up and it’s been a challenge to find a way to keep my brain motivated.

As I’ve talked to my fellow seniors, one common thing we all agree on is that because a lot of us have been accepted into college or know where we want to go or do after high school, it’s hard to still care about the work we have now. Many of us are ready to start a new chapter in our lives and it feels like high school is the one thing that won’t budge. It starts to feel like the rest of the semester is just dragging on so slowly. 

And though this feeling is tiresome, it’s comforting knowing that I’m not alone. Many of my classmates and I often discuss how we feel and it’s nice to have people around you who understand what you’re going through. In a way, we’re all in this together. 

I also would like to give myself some credit. I make the conscious decision everyday to keep pushing even though I’m mentally exhausted. Knowing that I’ve worked hard to get here; it would be all for nothing if I gave up. I’ve been telling myself that everyday and thankfully it has been working. It’s been the one thing keeping me going until the very end. 

Ultimately, I’ve gone through a multitude of emotions as this year has progressed. I’ve had plenty of mental breakdowns and breaking points. But I’m proud of myself. I endured and continue to do so everyday. College is going to be a whole new challenge but if my high school experience has taught me anything, it’s that I’m more than capable of making it through and that goes for any other senior struggling as well.