Putin Puttin’ Tucker In His Place

A Thorough Analysis of Tucker Carlson’s Transgressions Against American Journalism
Putin playing with his newest Western toy.
Putin playing with his newest Western toy.
Anah Khan

“After World War I this territory was transferred to Poland, and instead of Danzig, a city of Gdansk emerged. Hitler asked them to give it amicably, but the Poles refused,” Russian President Vladimir Putin explains.

Tucker Carlson frowns, furiously nods, and says, “Of course!”

Somewhere in Central Valley, California, a room full of around 28 high schoolers taking Advanced Journalism 3-4 bursts into laughter.

Such, dear reader, is the state of the American press and overall journalistic skill. Imagine, for a moment, that the youth of today, who will soon be given the responsibility of reporting the current happenings of our world to the masses, has this man to look up to as a mentor.

If you didn’t deduce already, Tucker Carlson, ex-Fox News political analyst, traveled to Moscow to interview who could arguably be the scariest man on planet Earth. That’s right, the man, the myth, the legend, Vladimir Putin.

Now, the best way to describe this interview, from the many sources I’ve reviewed, is a dumpster fire off the coast of the United States. I can assure you that some of the freshmen in Enochs’ speech and debate club could have handled that interview better than Carlson did by leaps and bounds.

His former colleague at Fox News called him an ‘eager puppy’.

Putin himself said that he didn’t receive pleasure or satisfaction from the interview as a whole.

Ana Navarro from The View said that was probably not the first or last time Tucker would hear something like that.

Putin said Tucker was a dangerous man. Think about that for a second. I won’t even elaborate.

I’m also sure I don’t speak for myself only when I think, “Why? Why Putin of all people, why now, why Tucker?” I thereby hope this article serves as a moderately deep dive into attempting to answer these questions because they are most definitely multifaceted and complex.

Before I begin though, and before someone that has way too much time on their hands smashes their fingers on their keyboard by defending the Republican party Carlson so claims he is part of, I’d like to put it out there that I have no political affiliation whatsoever. I’m entirely independent, but I do have one opinion; both sides of today’s bipartisan government are incredibly and utterly messed up, but that’s an article for another day. If you wish to offer your personal unique insight on this matter, please do so, but do so keeping in mind that I’m a high school student trying to formulate my own opinions on important, real-world events.

The most logical reason for Carlson’s odd interview is to raise his ranks of power. His methods seem absurd to us because he’s not subtly edging into the camera frame of significant figures, he is diving headfirst into them, which I think is a testament to just how greedy he is.

And it’s not even like he made significant leeway of any kind interviewing Putin. I’ll be entirely honest, I read the transcript, and felt like I was reading something out of my APUSH textbook. Putin slid through almost every question by giving mindless background! And Tucker was eating that up! He was nodding like Putin was explaining the cure for cancer, thoughtfully frowning when it was evident that even with the translator, Tucker had no idea what Putin was rambling about.

Long story short, Putin ran circles around Carlson during that interview. There’s a certain confrontational dynamic when asking powerful figures like him questions, and Carlson missed like we’ve never seen before. To elaborate on what I stated earlier, upon reflecting on their interview, Putin said he was expecting Carlson to ask ‘sharper’ questions, so that he could give ‘sharper responses’. Essentially, it was too easy. Putin came out of that interview unexposed, leaving Carlson in a sort of daze as he marveled over Russian shopping carts and subway stations.

The thing is, however, that Carlson isn’t intellectually challenged by any means whatsoever. He’s cunning, and, at times, genuinely a good reporter, but he uses it for a not-so-intelligent cause. And this is what frustrates me about American politics in general.

We have so many incredible public speakers, rhetoric that can move boulders, minds with innovative ideas that could solve almost all our modern-day dilemmas, but the people harboring those talents are far too immersed in the rat-race of societal economic gain to realize that the thing they’re fighting against is just within reach.

But, make no mistake, I’m not writing this to complain or vent anything out. Simply stating a problem in an analytical manner sadly does not change anything. What we can do, however, is come to an agreement that this needs to stop. By this, I mean putting on the façade of journalistic responsibility for one’s own selfish needs.

Tucker Carlson, in this interview, seemed to me like the one suck-up student that tries to get on teachers’ good sides, but end up getting hated by students and staff alike, and it’s simply shameful that, despite the fact that this interview was broadcasted on his own personal network, that this is being labeled as reporting. Dear reader, this was a quite frankly useless conversation whose only fruits were Putin now recognizing Carlson as that one Western reporter with the boring questions.

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